When you describe something as being ‘on fire’, that can either be really good or really bad. It all depends on the context and the amount of exasperation or sarcasm packed into the sentence.
This is especially true when it comes to life.
I noticed a few weeks ago that I was constantly referring to my life as being “on fire”. What I meant was there are so many things going on all at once that I often feel completely at a loss when it comes to what I should do. The past few months I have felt like I am being pulled in a thousand different directions.
You have experienced that, right? Being torn between who the world tells you that you should be, the person the people around you need you to be, and the person that you want to be? That constant friction between desire in duty? It is a tough place to be.
If you leave your ‘duty’ to follow your dream you face the disappointment and disapproval of those you care about, but if you never allow your dreams to flourish you run the risk of living the rest of your life in regret, wondering what would have happened if you did.
So many people choose to play it safe, sticking with what they know because it is certain. And they spend the rest of their life ignoring that burning desire to do something different, the call to become who they were created to be.
This is something I have been struggling with for a while. The voice in my head tells me that I can never make it on my own, that I need to stick with what I know. Yet the voice in my heart is crying out that I can do this. It may take some time and it will not be glorious at first, but I may just be able to live the life I want.
I don’t want to live my life silently, suppressing that fire inside of me until it eats me alive. I don’t want to be that perfect girl who lives the way the world tells her too.
I want to let that fire loose. I want to live loud. I want to be so unapologetically myself that when people look at me they think “if she did it, maybe I can too.” I know that I was born to create. To craft stories that hold a mirror to the world to show people how things could be. I am done living my life with the thought that I could never make a living doing so. I am going to find my way and I am not going to let anybody stop me.
I know it is not going to be easy, but I am willing to try. This is the kind of ‘on fire’ I want my life to be. I want to live my dream while showing others that they too can live theirs. Too often have I seen other creators struggling with their insecurities, trapped by the thought that they will never be able to live that dream.
The fear that they will never be good enough.
The fear that all of their work is inferior, not worthy of attention.
The crippling pain of knowing their gift will never amount to anything. (which is a lie)
Everyone has a dream. Everyone has a desire to create something to make the world better. And I could geek out about this for HOURS.
That is why I want to create a podcast so I can share my passion and knowledge. I also want to help others share their passion and knowledge. And I do plan on creating this podcast. I have some work to do to get things ready, but it will be happening sometime this year.
Because I am tired of waiting. I am ready to live my life.
Are you with me?
2 thoughts on “Living a Life on Fire”
Honestly made me cry with this. I’m at that point right now in my life. I’m with ya all the way!
When I started this post, I honestly had no idea where I was going. I just started writing and it all came out. It was very cathartic indeed. I’ve been holding this in for a while. It is nice to know I’m not alone in this.